HELEN LOGIE MUM OF PETER & GLEN / HELEN LOGIE (MEMBER P.O.S. )
A beautiful tribute to your precious son Joseph. He is now at peace and is together with my sons Peter and Glen who also died by suicide. I am so sorry that we have to share this grief but thank God that we can do this together.
With love and thanks from another heart-broken Mum, Helen in Cape Town, Mum of Peter and Glen Close
MARCH 18th YOUR BIRTH DAY.. / Mom
Today is not a happy day for me. I am overwhelmed with tears. I am bombarded by memories. I remember every moment of the day you were born. I can remember the way the air smelled, the way the sun shown so bright that it hurt my eyes. The pain of giving life to you is NOTHING compared to the pain of now living through your death. I can't stand it. I feel such deep, internal pain. My heart feels like it is broken, literally broken. I always told you that you and your sister were two half of my heart and it's true. It feels like, although, one half is beating, the other half is gone. I know I loved you completely because I am in so much pain since you left us. There are two memories that seem to flash in my mind a great deal. The moment of your birth, the moment I saw you in your coffin. I want to throw myself on the floor and start screaming and never stop...that's how I feel when the picture of you laying there in that coffin comes into my head. I want to tear my hair out, I want to punch my fist through the wall that separates us. Death is so frustrating for the living. You know what I mean, Joe. It is just horrendous. I talk to you and if you answer me; I can't hear you. I reach out to hold your hand; and if you are reaching back I can't feel your touch. I go to your grave and knock our special knock but the knock remains hanging in the air, because you never knock that final answer knock. I went to our "old" house on Arnow Avenue. I just parked the car and closed my eyes and there you were Joe, there you and Linney and grandpa were....I want to go back, back to that "happy" time in all of our lives. If I could I would crawl back on my knees. So, this day, this is not a "happy" day for me. It is a day filled with a great deal of emotion and memories. I read what your sister wrote and I cried. I looked at the picture that has the past frozen time, a time when we were all together and happy. It made me cry. I have done a lot of that. My dear Joseph, you were so much like me...you could always make me laugh, you could always make me cry. You were my angel on earth and now you are our angel in heaven. Please give your sister a hug today as her heart is forever broken too. We love you, love you, love you, love you. Miss you so much, so very much... mom Close
March 18th ~ Your Birthday / Linney (sister)Read >>
March 18th ~ Your Birthday / Linney (sister)
Dear Joe,
Today you would be 26. I looked back at the message I wrote to you last year, and I had said that no matter how much time passes, you will always be my big brother. I still feel this way. It is difficult to say "Happy" Birthday, because for Mom and I, it is anything but happy. We want to be celebrating with you, laughing and having fun. We were such a close little family, the three of us, so this is very hard for both Mom and me. We just miss you so much.
Take away our tears and our pain from missing you, and we only want you to be so very happy where you are today. So I am sure you will be having a celebration today, with Dad and Grandpa, Grandma and all her brothers and sisters including Aunt Emily, and of course Aunt Tina, who is watching over her beautiful family, and everyone else...hey, you've got more family on your side than we do over here!!!
Haha, in the picture above of your 10th birthday, I made you that silly hat to wear! It looks fashionable, doesn't it? Man, who knew Mom and I would lose our three best men? But sometimes, Joe, I can feel your presence, like you're standing behind us or with us, holding us. I hope that is true.
Please celebrate today with us as we celebrate the time we had with you. Mom's been talking about converting her 8mm tapes to DVDs. I think 8mm is what they had in the prehistoric era before VHS. So if we find some place to convert them, she is going to try to make me watch the footage of our births. I think she used to bother us about seeing them in the past, too. But I think as long as she has everything on DVDs, she will be happy, even if I do run out of the room!
What a beautiful tribute / Sandra David's Mom POS Read >>
What a beautiful tribute / Sandra David's Mom POS
What a beautiful tribute to a special young man. I'm sure he is smiling down from heaven on his mother and sister. So sorry for your loss Close
Hi Joe, It's me again, missing you, as usual. They say that time heals....well their wrong. Time has just made me long for you more and I can't help but wonder who you would be today. I wonder if you would be feeling stronger, better. Sometimes I make believe that your living in Florida or some other state where it would take a plane for us to visit. Sometimes I pretend that your the father of a couple of kids and that your fine, well and happy and will visit soon. Sometimes I see a guy who looks like you driving a car that I think you would have wanted. He's in front of me so I easily slip into pretending that he is you and that I'm following you to our destination. I am quickly jolted out of my fantasy by a car horn which brings me back to the painful truth. But, for that small time I am cheered by thoughts of you alive, and well and happy. As you know I talk to you all the time and of course I hope so much, so very much that you really hear me. I don't want to cause you any pain or suffering and I know that at times I have been completely inconsolable. I really hope that my sorrow or tears have not hurt you in anyway. I keep looking for a sign from you and I know that if I get one, that one, won't be enough....I will always want more. So, you rest my sweet boy, my angel. You rest, and you laugh as you soar with the angels. I just know that when you entered heaven all of the angels were smiling even as I was heartbroken. I know that you are with Jesus and the Blessed Mother and she gets to comfort you and hold you, now. I miss you so very much. There is not a day I don't feel that pain. I love you, my Joseph, I love you...always did, always will. Let's meet in our dreams. mom
Always missing you my dear son...Joseph / Mom Read >>
Always missing you my dear son...Joseph / Mom
'An unimaginable, indescribable loss has taken place. It has inflicted a wound so deep that numbness and excruciating pain are the material of which it is made' (Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, On Grief and Grieving).
You are in the arms of the angels and I know in my heart that the second you entered heaven all of the angels were smiling.... Joseph I miss you every day, every night. I love you so, mom
Joseph once again MISSING U / MOM
Dearest son, So here I am the world spins on and I'm forever missing you. I must tell you that I am angry. I am so angry at the "cards you were dealt". You did NOT DESERVE the hand, my dearest Joseph, my boy. No one, no one can understand my pain unless they too have lost their child. No one can understand the strength it takes every single day to get up, get dressed and get on with it. Linnie is my heart, my strength. You knew that, I know that you did. I can carry on and do what I have to do, what I must do for her, your sister. But know dear Joseph, dear son please know that you took a big part of me with you and I lay with you, along side you in your grave. I am so angry that you had to suffer, you who came into this world so fragile, beautiful, loving, smart oh so bright. I am just so sorry that I couldn't help you to overcome your pain. Joseph there is not one day since you have been gone that I don't think about you. I wish I had more then words to reach you. I love you, I love you so. mom Close
YOU ARE NOT FAR FROM MY LOVE / MOM
Dearest Joseph,
I can't stop thinking about you or longing for you. They say that "time makes it better" they lie. Time has not made it better, time has only made me miss you more and long to hug you and talk with you. Now we are coming up on the holidays. The holidays that you used to love. I will always remember you and your sister waking me up so very early on Christmas morning and screaming "Santa came, he really came" while you and Linney were looking at all of your presents unders our big tree. I miss that happiness so very much. I long for those days just as you did. I remember you told me that you loved your childhood, that you were so happy. You thanked me for making Christmas beautiful and fun for you. I didn't thank you and I should have. You gave me Christmas. You brought Christmas back to me. When you were born so was Christmas, for me. Then you beautiful sister arrived three years later and you and she gave me so much happiness. You both were my gift. Now, Linney and I carry on and we both miss you so much. It is hard for her because where she once had a brother now she is an only child. She misses you greatly. You, Joseph were our only son and only brother. You were a part of our tight circle of three. You can not remove that nor erase that love. It is not gone, you are not gone. Just as Christmas comes every year so do our memories, our sweet, wonderful memories of our adorable son and brother. You did not die alone. When you left you took a big part of me with you. I have my happy, funny wonderful memories of you and of you and your sister together, laughing, playing. I hold on to my memories of you my Joseph. I will never, ever, never forget the joy, love, beauty you brought into my life. I will never ever let you go. Death did not destroy my love for you or my connection to you. I am your mom and always will be your mom. Here on earth, there in heaven I am your mom. Death did not take you away from us, it will not win, it has not won. I may not be able to see you or call you and hear your voice. But, I talk to you all of the time and I think about you always and you live Joseph, you live through your sister and through me and someday through Linney's kids. You are not gone and don't think for even one second that you are. I love you and if I could I would go to where you are and grab hold of you and NEVER LET GO until I forced you right back into this world. Death did not end anything, Joseph, I will not allow it to. Love you baby, loved you yesterday, love you today and will continue to love you all of my life. XXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Close
A beautiful way to remember and homor / Jean Brown (POS member )Read >>
A beautiful way to remember and homor / Jean Brown (POS member )
What a beautiful way to remember and honor your precious son, Joseph. I am so sorry for your loss. I can really relate to your words about how courageous and strong Joseph lived. I lost my only son, Brian, on 6/13/07. I did not know how he suffered until two weeks before his death. But I cannot be angry with him. He was so strong and courageous, and now he has peace and is with the lord. I wish you quite nights, fond memories, and visits from Joseph.
With fondest thoughts and prayers, Jean, mom of Brian Close
FOR JOSEPH / Arline Stumpff, Marla's Mom (POS)Read >>
FOR JOSEPH / Arline Stumpff, Marla's Mom (POS)
Thank you for sharing your handsome son Joseph in this truly moving tribute that brought me to tears. The quote about suicide is so true. Our children will live in our hearts and memories always.
Say "Joseph" to me adapted from a poem by another broken hearted mom / Mom Read >>
Say "Joseph" to me adapted from a poem by another broken hearted mom / Mom
SAY "Joseph" TO ME
Why won't you talk about my child? Why won't you say his name? Why won't you put your arms around me and understand my pain? Why won't you share the memories I have up in my head? Why won't you talk about him now that he is dead?
The years have passed since the day he died and for you it is over and done, but I still need all the help I can get, I'm still grieving for my son. I know it all embarrasses you, I can see it in your face But I won't let his name die or sink without a trace.
Don't you know how much it hurts when you turn your face away every time I say his name or recall some special day? I don't want to make you miserable when I talk of what I had, I just need to know you loved him too and to lose him made you sad.
So please say "Joseph" to me just every once in a while, it won't mend my broken heart but I know it will make me smile. This world is a very lonely place without my little boy, So please say "Joseph" to me and give me back some joy. ...
from The Reluctant Survivor by Dany Sherlock
Dear Joseph, I guess I am a reluctant survivor. It is now two years and almost 6 months since you have left us. There has not been one day that I have not woke up thinking of you, missing you and wishing I could just hear your voice or see your wonderful smile. I always miss your hug and I can picture your face so clearly. I see your high cheekbones and your cleft chin and I can still see the way your eyes would light up with that beautiful smile. Oh baby it is just so painful. No one would guess how much I suffer each day. I put on my mask like an "adult" and go out into the world and do what I must do. I find the strength through your beautiful sister. God blessed me with two wonderful children and now one has gone home to be with him. Joe, you taught me so much. You were a gift. You are still teaching me each day because I am growing in faith. I do believe that you have gone on. I can almost see you leaving, feeling free of the heavy weight of your mind and leaving the prison of your body. I can feel that you felt no pain and only excitement. I know, just know that grandpa met you. I can see him hold open his arms to you and you running into them. I can hear him say "what did you do you bad boy" and then hugging you even tighter. Grandma is with you and your dad is with you and all of the friends and relatives that went before you. I know in my heart they showed you the way to the light and that grandpa continues to guide you. I feel that you are happy but only sad when it comes to me and Linney. Your sister misses you so. I wish you were here with her and that we were all together once again. But, I know in my heart why you had to go and I know that you have found the peace and pure happiness that you deserved and hungered for. My dearest son, the word love does not do justice in expressing how I feel for you. You are a part of me. I feel you around me. You are in my heart every moment of every day and every night when I can finally fall asleep I pray we meet in my dreams. One day I know I will see you again. You, as grandpa did for you, will be waiting for me on the other side. I will not be afraid because I long to hold you once again and hear you say I love you mom. I love you Joseph, I love you baby, please lets meet in our dreams.
No Greater Loss / Linda Stilson (friend of Joseph's mom on POS )
Joseph, There is no greater loss than losing a child, one that your mother carried inside her for nine months nurturing you and awaiting your entrance into this world. So many preparations and so many dreams and hopes and love went into those preparations. A mother's love is neverending, nor are her worries. Even when you grow up and move away a Mother's love is always there. Your death totally destroys a mother and a father and leaves them with so many unanswered questions and feelings that they didn't do enough or did something wrong. It is hard to accept your death, their loss. Please know that your parents miss you and loved you dearly and hope that you are at peace now. If you can send them signs to bring them peace, please do. So sorry for the struggles that you encountered here on earth. Life isn't easy and one has to be so strong to be able to handle all that is thrown to us and some of us are too sensitive and incapable of surviving the constant struggles on the battlefield of life. My prayers go out to you and all your family. Linda Stilson, mother of Michael Joseph http://www.michaelstilson.bravehost.comClose
No Greater Loss / Linda Stilson (friend of Joseph's mom on POS )
Joseph, There is no greater loss than losing a child, one that your mother carried inside her for nine months nurturing you and awaiting your entrance into this world. So many preparations and so many dreams and hopes and love went into those preparations. A mother's love is neverending, nor are her worries. Even when you grow up and move away a Mother's love is always there. Your death totally destroys a mother and a father and leaves them with so many unanswered questions and feelings that they didn't do enough or did something wrong. It is hard to accept your death, their loss. Please know that your parents miss you and loved you dearly and hope that you are at peace now. If you can send them signs to bring them peace, please do. So sorry for the struggles that you encountered here on earth. Life isn't easy and one has to be so strong to be able to handle all that is thrown to us and some of us are too sensitive and incapable of surviving the constant struggles on the battlefield of life. My prayers go out to you and all your family. Linda Stilson, mother of Michael Joseph http://www.michaelstilson.bravehost.comClose
Crying with you / Barb Chris' Mom
Oh he was a beautiful young man. My heart breaks for you, me, our sons. I wish you and your sweet daughter the softest, most gentle "normal" as possible. Close
Dear Linda and Linney, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved son and brother. You have honored him greatly with this beautiful memorial. I pray that you find peace and comfort in the knowledge that Joseph is in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father and suffers and fights the battle no longer. He has won the war. Joseph, you are so missed by your family and they love you very much. God Bless You all.
Please excuse me / Mom
Please all excuse me I'm the mom of a sucide Excuse my pain and my doubts Please excuse my staring into space Please excuse my making you uncomfortable For I'm the mother of child who ended his own life
My son had a terminal illness even if YOU could not see it My son suffered so much, he was tortured Even if YOU wanted to look aways
Please excuse me, but I'm in pain I miss my son, my handsome, intelligent, beautiful boy I miss his smile, and his laugh, and his calling me mom I miss him helping me to cook, I miss his hug I even miss his tears because at least he was here, here with me
Please excuse me if I don't seem concerned with the ups and downs of every day life I burried my only son when he was 23 years old And with him went a big piece of my heart and who I once was My son, my only son My Joseph....I love you baby. Always did, Always will. mom Close
This one’s for the gentle boy who wrestles with his pain His easy-bruising tender heart And ever active brain He feels much more than others do But then he tries to hide With laughter and bravado The gentle boy inside
With wit and style and artifice his secret’s kept so well Who dreams the brave façade you see Conceals some private hell? Meanwhile, the brutes live on and on Their unexamined lives The low, the stupid and the cruel The sluggish dolt still thrives To fill the world with empty talk And greed and hate and noise To breed, carouse, and make life Hell For all the gentle boys
Some gentle boys grow heartsick, and tired of this charade They blow themselves right off the earth Or fight, then fail, then fade
If you should love a gentle boy There’s little you can do If he decides his time has come He’ll leave the earth, and you He cannot see that if he goes You’ll never fill that space You’ll spend your whole life searching For that laugh, that kiss, that face
How can the gentle boy not know? You loved him beyond death You’d help him any way you could Unto your dying breath
Someday when justice reigns on Earth We all may greet with joy A world where it won’t hurt so much To be a gentle boy
Remember Me............for Beautiful JOSEPH / Mom Read >>
Remember Me............for Beautiful JOSEPH / Mom
To the living, I am gone to the sorrowful, I will never return To the angry, I was cheated But, to the happy, I am at peace And to the faithful, I have never left I can not speak, but I can listen I can not be seen, but I can be heard So as you stand upon the shore Gazing at the beautiful sea, remember me As you look in awe at a mighty forest And its grand majesty, remember me Remember me in your hearts, In your thoughts, and the memories of the Times we loved, the times we cried, the Battle I fought and the times we laughed For if you always think of me, I will Have never gone.
CHAOS OF THE HEART / Mom
CHAOS OF THE HEART Words & Music by Tony Wood & Steve Siler
I'll never pass that park again And not think of you And I have to drive that street again Each day a time or two And every rainy night in August Every gunshot on TV Every phone call after midnight Brings it all back home to me
And I'm sorry and I'm sad and I'm hurting and I'm mad and I love you and I hate you and it makes me feel so bad The good is stained with evil They cannot be pulled apart Is there any healing from This chaos of the heart
Every thought of you is painful Every choice seems half a lie Every memory a reminder You didn't have to die Sometimes it's hard to blame you You were desperate for some peace But your death is an indictment And for me there's no release
Why do I feel guilty? Will I ever find relief? Cause...
Healing's slow to come From this chaos of the heart
((((((((((Linda)))))-)))))/ Josee Jason's Mom (POS)
What a handsome young man your Joseph was/is. I am so sorry that you have been making this long journey to surviving the loss of your precious son. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Joseph, watch over your mom and sister and stop by from time to time to let them know you are still with them.
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