I came and visited your beautiful website hun and you seem to be a great man ange . i never know what to write on these sites so i make it short . send your precious mom lots of love and hugs my ange she is in desperate need of a few cuddles i am sure . Take care
really gonna miss you / Yvonne Richard's Mum Read >>
really gonna miss you / Yvonne Richard's Mum
Really Gonna Miss You by Smokey Robinson
( these words say a lot about 'our' beautiful son's.)
Really gonna miss you Its really gonna be different without you Time is going to be hard and slow For the rest of my life Gonna be thinking about you Yes I am Time came when you had to go I'll miss you my buddy I'll miss you my friend I promise my love for you will never end In your finest hour I was there with you And without you things won't be the same But there's a higher power that we answer to And you heard him calling your name Really gonna miss you Everything about you your smiling face I know you want us all to be strong Really gonna miss you I know your going to that magic place Singing you a brand new song I'll miss you my buddy I'll miss you my friend I promise my love for you will never end Really Gonna Miss Youuuuuuuuuu ******* Close
Quote by Kahlil Gibran..... / Mom
Kahlil Gibran: When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, / and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that/ which has been your delight.
I love you Joseph, always did, always will............. mom Close
MEMORIAL DAY FOR MY JOSEPH / Mom
This Memorial Day, we remember you. Not as a soldier who fought a battle read about between the pages of our history book, not as a soldier who fought for his country, for values and a way of life worth preserving.
We remember you, as a soldier on the battlefield of life, valiantly struggling through your own personal war, each of us would have taken up arms for your cause.
We would have rallied, given muskets of courage, canons of patience, barrels of understanding, rifles loaded with love and compassion. But you didn’t let us know we needed to come to your aid, we didn’t know you were on the battlefield all alone.
The dragons of despair, the monsters of melancholy, the shadows of stress and the presence of pressures, we would have slayed them, we could have lessened their ability to lead you astray from a life full of hope, promise and love.
But now we remember you, this Memorial Day, for you valiantly fought a battle only this family is aware of. You were our soldier, always reaching for happiness, but never quite finding it You were our only son and brother We wish we could have helped you. But this was just one battle you had to fight by yourself.
You’ve helped us to be aware that we are all here for each other, through life’s joyous occasions as well as the tragic events. We treasure our memories of you and of our times together. We remember you with deep love, but most of all . . . We remember you always.
Honoring your beloved Joseph / Miranda Martin (Admirer)Read >>
Honoring your beloved Joseph / Miranda Martin (Admirer)
I am visiting your website because I too am in pain. I am eternally grateful to your family for honoring you in such a special way. I am deeply touched by all the wonderful words and pictures of your son and brother. Your son is an angel. My angel. Whenever I feel like I can't do this thing we call life, I think of your website. I think of Joseph and how much you all love him. Even when I feel like my own family doesn't understand I think of your family and how much you hurt and it saves me. Joseph has helped me live another day. I am so blessed that you shared Joseph's story. I continue to pray for you and to Joseph. I believe we do not need to pray for him but to him. God Bless you all. Close
I hope somehow you can read this or know what my intentions are.
Life has become so sad without you in it. I love Linnie so, so much. You were both two halfs of my heart. Now one half is gone. I want to believe that I will one day meet you when I die. I want to truly know that you go on in another place, another dimension. The one thing I do know, is that you are finally at peace.
I love your sister with the rest of my heart and I want to be here for her, and I am here for her. I look forward to the future because of Linnie. Thank God for Linnie. Joseph you would be so so so proud of her. She is a 4.0 in Fordham and I am sure she will graduate Suma Cum Laude. She is so bright, as you were. I know you doubted that you were smart but that was because of your illness, your fucking illness. You were so beautiful inside and out. And so, so very smart. We miss you so much. Linnie is just so beautiful and so brillant and she is a go getter. I wish so much you were here for her, for us. You would be so proud of her. You loved her so much and she is now a beautiful, intelligent young women.
Every day I pray for you, every day I think of you. I am your mom always even in the afterlife. Please Joseph, pray for us, for me. I want to have the strength to go on every day and be here for your sister. Now it is just Linnie and I. We are both very strong women. She is, like you a delight and I am honored to have given birth to both of you. You taught me so much and you made me a very strong person, dear Joseph. Even now you continue to teach me. I search for faith and I yearn for wisdom. Life and it's meaning is different now. I am different now. I love you my dear son and I long to hug you and see that handsome, wonderful face of yours and that great smile that reaches your eyes and hear your laugh that always made me laugh. I talk about you every day. I dream about you. You were and are my child..............forever. Tell God that, please. You may be in heaven with our Blessed Mother and she is able to hug you, and hold you and comfort you...but I am your mom. I love you, we love you, we miss you..... mom Close
Today 5/9/07 marks two years that you have gone from us. I have been told by many people that you are at peace, that you found peace and are no longer suffering. You did not ever deserve to suffer in this life. You were such a good and decent person. I loved your laugh and the way you could make me laugh. I miss your beautiful laugh, your great big smile, your jokes. I miss our talks, I miss your happy times, your being there for me, me being there for you. I miss being able to hug you and be hugged by you. I miss being able to kiss you. I miss your handsome face with your wonderful cheek bones and cleff chin. You were just so tall and handsome. I wish that you felt and knew that too.
We were so alike, Joseph. You were my sonshine and I miss those times when we shared music, and cooking. You were a wonderful son and a wonderful caring, loving brother to Linney. We are so sorry that, that illness came upon you and robbed you of your life and robbed us of you. When your illness was in remission you were the most wonderful, happy, giving, sharing person anyone could ever want in their lives. Your illness would rob you of that, at times, in your life and you were so tortured. Therefore, we were so tortured. You fought for 8 years and I am proud of you. I know that you did not choose death, but rather peace.
Linnie and I miss you so much and love you always. Two years ago today I lost you my sonshine, in this life, but I know that one day I will see you again and we will be together, to hug, to laugh, to share in the beauty and peace of paradise. I love you Joseph, always did, always will. mom Close
My dear son Joseph.. May 8, 2007 / Mom
Artist/Band: Chesney Kenny Lyrics for Song: Who You'd Be Today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most Wear the pain like a heavy coat I feel you everywhere I go I see your smile, I see your face I hear you laughing in the rain Still can't believe you're gone
Chorus:
It ain't fair you died too young Like a story that had just begun The death tore the pages all away God knows how I miss you All the pain that I've been through Just knowing no one could take your place Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams? Settle down with a family? I wonder, what would you name your babies? Some days the sky's so blue I feel like I can talk to you And I know it might sound crazy
Chorus
Today, Today, Today Today, Today, Today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most I wear the pain like a heavy coat The only thing that gives me hope Is I know I'll see you again someday
Hi Joe / Doris Heasman
Hi Hun i just had to pop in and meet you . I want to say hello and please take care of your precious Mom hun , she misses you terribly .
keep rocking up there Love and respect Doris (mom of Monique) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close
Joseph: they all lied / MOM
Time does not bring relief
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied Who told me time would ease me of my pain! I miss him in the weeping of the rain; I want him at the shrinking of the tide; The old snows melt from every mountain-side, And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane; But last year's bitter loving must remain Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide. There are a hundred places where I fear To go - so with his memory they brim. And entering with relief some quiet place Where never fell his foot or shone his face I say, 'There is no memory of him here!' And so stand stricken, so remembering him.
How to save a life by the Fray: for Joseph / Mom Read >>
How to save a life by the Fray: for Joseph / Mom
How to save a life-The Fray
Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend ....my son (ld) Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Today a party was thrown in your honor, of that I have no doubt. All of the angels were singing and Jesus was by your side. In my heart Jesus whispered don't be sad I have your son, he is with me and my mother and today we celebrate his earthly birthday. I remember each and every moment Joseph of the day when you were born, when I first saw you and you lay upon my chest crying. I said "hello pumpkin" and you heard my voice and you stopped crying. I smelled your baby hair, and saw your tiny fingers and toes. I held you so close and I knew that you and I would always share a close bond, no matter what. I loved you from that moment, and through the years that we shared, my love for you grew and grew, and was a constant. Through our extremely happy times, and through our extremely hard times I loved you and knew that you loved me for we shared a bond that nothing can ever take away, not even death. Happy Brithday in heaven Joseph. I know that you and your grandpa, grandma, and dad shared a happy day in paradise. I feel your strength and love for Linnie and myself, always. I know that you are always with us, looking out for us and loving us. Joseph please know that you are in my heart and thoughts every day. I wish that you were here, I wish that you were with us, happy and healthy.....we miss you so very much. Sometimes when I laugh I hear your laugh within mine and it makes me smile. Sometimes I see a guy from a distance and for a moment my heart skips a beat because he looks like you and I wish he were you. You were my gift, our gift. I love you always. I hope that you are happy. Let's meet in our dreams, please! mom
*HAPPY BiRTHDAY JOE!!!* / Linney (sister) Hey Joe, Happy 25th!!!!!! Even though time will pass, you will always be my big brother! I love you infinity, and if it is even possible, miss you more and more each day.
As all warriors eventually tire out and wear down, so did you. There is only honor in valor. May you hae sweet eternity with our creator and joy abounding.
For Joseph: Feelings / Mom
The following words were borrowed from a book titled
"SAFE PASSAGE" by Molly Fumia.
Joseph Ms. Fumia could not have captured my feelings better if I had penned them myself.
Dearest Joseph, I am so tired. These callous circumstances have stolen away my energy and my motivation. I am left without the power to continue moving; I can hardly imagine the strength even to stand in place. I want only to give in to my exhaustion, to sleep and sleep until I can wake up to another, less evil reality. They tell me to take it easy, give yourself time, just sit for awhile. But that doesnt work. They tell me to keep busy, go on a trip, take up something new. That doesnt work either. To do nothing, to do everything. Nothing works. Nothing works. A kaleidoscope of feelings has ensnared me. Denial, anger, guilt, despair, acceptance. One does not end for another to begin, rather the emotions tumble about and crash together just beyond control, and without regard for my wounded, weeping heart. I am waiting to become disentangled. I want to separate one color from another, so that I might see more clearly what assaults me. I want to address the fullness of my tears one feeling at a time. (ld) I eat to much to bury these harsh feelings, trying to bury the all of the emotions I feel. But I must learn to respect my sense that it is all right for me to live, even though you have died. I think about images of the past that are still present for me. Which of these ghosts, if any, deserves my attention? It seems unkind to banish them all from among the living, from a place that was once theirs. But I want to laugh again, to participate once more in lively conversation. While I welcome those memories that have been invited, I will eventually close the door on those which haunt me. I am afraid to be angry. Rage betrays the need to accept what has happened. Yet I am also afraid to accept. Acquiescence might suggest that I have gven in to fate and to the injustice of your being taken from me. Despite the taboo on anger, I sense that I have that right, even though fury will not alter the facts. It will not, I understand, but I am furious. It is that you are gone from us, I understand and I'm furious. For now, to survive, I choose both acceptance and indignation. Then even though your loss will never be okay, someday I will be. Sleeping, which used to relieve the fullness of the day, has become just another difficult task, I first avoid my bed, knowing that if I stop moving, memories will sneak into my fading consciousness and force a sob up into my throat. Other nights I lie awake for hours feeling nothing, but still unable to capture sleep. Or I wake in the pre-dawn darkness, hoping desperately that the clock has moved toward morning. I was not prepared for sleep to be an enemy. What I need now is a friend, and a way to rest my weary spirit. Even though I am encircled by friends, I wonder when my loneliness will cease. Even though I am surrounded by the familiar, I wonder if I will ever feel at home again. I am alone and lost, and I am enraged that I could have been so cruelly sent far away from what used to comfort me. I am afraid I will get lost in the maze of my feelings, that I will go in there and never come out. Still, I am unexplainably drawn into the dark labyrinth where I might find only despair and panic for companions. They will receive me there, and offer to take me through the darkness. If they plot the sole exit, I have no choice but to receive them too, befriend them in return for showing me the way. Death has separated us, but not completely. We have not parted company forever. l am only living away from you for A WHILE!! As I continue grief's journey, my body aches from its burden of overwhelming sorrow. My throat is tight, my stomach knotted, my chest bruised with an inner hurt that makes it difficult to draw a breath. It feels as if my skin has been removed and I am exposed to the brutality of the world, undefended even by a thin protection. I can only hope that as with other journeys, there will be a time for rest. And as with other hurts, my body will someday heal. Isolation is the worst case scenario of grieving. They say that my pain begs to be shared; yet I seem to be pulling away, separating from everyone. Only by avoiding feelings can I come close to another. Only by avoiding others can I bear to feel. The way back to intimacy requires crossing a killing field of emotion. I will risk it eventually, and perhaps those who wait for me on the other side will find returning to them a less fearful, more trusting spirit. I am engulfed with an emptiness that is thunderous. Time has become an echo: empty, empty. How will I ever fill up the moments? One at a time, one at a time. Getting through the day is like walking through a mine field of deadly moments of recollection. Just when I have slipped beneath the surface of remembering, drawn there by the benevolent distractions of daily life, the grim new reality suddenly explodes around me, reminding me that everything is terribly, permanently different. And I must absorb the same first brutal shock, the same descending horror, over and over again. I am deceived by those instances of forgetfulness, yet I am obviously not ready to live every moment with the inalterable truth. We know ourselves by the stories we tell. Losing you has dismantled my storyline and shaken my plot; the tale I tell about who I am and where I am going doesnt make sense anymore. I want desperately to find other words that will imagine my life anew. I just dont know where and how that story will begin. If I could tell you my one regret, it would be that I didnt love you better, I had always intended to improve upon that, because you deserved to be well loved. And if you could tell me your one regret, it would be that everyone deserves to be well loved. With that in mind, I will lend the world whatever energy for love I still possess, and improve upon things in your name.
Well here I am again finding myself sitting here visiting your site because it is the closest I can get to you these days. We ran away right after the painful holidays for 11 day's. Being on the ocean is for me, a spiritual experience. I feel closer to you somehow. I look up into the bluest sky and I think, Joe is watching me from above. Every moment there was longing in my heart, wishing you were besides us. In a way I think you were. I remember walking and your song came on. Glenn pointed it out, as Linney and I seemed to not hear it. Rainbow connection was playing and we thought Joseph is letting us know he is here. Then one day I was sitting alone wrapped up in thoughts of you and Hard Knock Life came on and there you were, again.... I cried silently when Linnie and Glenn were swimming with the turtels as I knew this would have delighted you. You would have been like a little boy filled with wonder and happiness. I could see you there with them in that crystal water, laughing and being happy, too!!! I felt so bad for you that day, and wished so much that you could have experienced so much more in your short life...especially happiness in seeing the world. I felt so sad because I know you will never experience the warm sun on your skin, and the thrill of new experiences, ever again. It made me sad. I lifted my drink up to you and said "this is for you baby"...I hope you heard me. Seeing Linnie there in the blue waters of Barbados, the sea turtels all around, her smile and delight made me feel you more and I thought she is experiencing this for the both of you. Planning a trip and looking forward to it every day is a bandaid. leaving for the trip is soothing....being on the adventure is happy, and sad for me both. I miss you no matter what, I think of you every day. I talk about you to fellow travelers and I feel good that I have a tattoo in memory of you so that others can read your name. I want the whole world to know that you were here, once and that your short life, your spirit and kindness, your compassionate nature mattered so very much. I am now once again sitting here writing to you and feeling sadness and longing. We just arrived home yesterday and I am ready to "run" away again. I can't face normal, everyday life without you. You were my life, my heart and now your gone. I know that no matter where I travel I won't find you. I look for you every where I go. In the cool mountains of Greneda, in the crystal waters of Antigua, in the sea life of Barbados, but you are not there, you are not to be found anywhere on this earth. I know that I can travel every day for every part of the world and I will not find you. Not on this earth, but one day I will find you again, I believe that. One day we will be reunited and I will watch you swim with turtles and soar with angels. I love you Joseph, always did, always will. mom Close
I'm so sorry. / Cherstin Frame (I didn't know him. )Read >>
I'm so sorry. / Cherstin Frame (I didn't know him. )
I am so sorry for your loss. I found your beautiful website while I was browsing online for music, and I'm sitting here with tears pouring down my face, music all but forgotten. You have done your son a great service by making such an amazing memorial for him. I have no idea who he was in his life, I didn't see where you lived or anything, but you've reminded me to always let people know how much they mean to you. Thank you for that. I appreciate you.
Your 2nd Christmas in heaven / Mom
Are you happy in heaven today, Christmas day. I hope that you are laughing besides Jesus. I couldn't sleep last night Christmas Eve because I was remembering Christmas of the past years. You and Linnie so excited and so very happy. Bounding into my room to wake me up so very early in the morning yelling "he came, Santa came". What magic, what a precious gift I have been given. Joseph and Linnie my two beautiful children. I feel extremely fortunate to have had you in our life for 23 years. I realize dear Joseph that the last few years were very hard for you, but there were some very happy times intermingled in the pain, confusion and torrent of emotions. Please take Jesus aside today and whisper my mesage to him, please tell him for me: My mom wants me to tell you that she thanks you for the blessing of my sister and myself in her life. My mom is no longer angry with you Jesus she is just extremely thankful for allowing me to be born to her, and even though she misses me so very much, she understands that I had to leave her to go home to you. My mom knows that I am now safe, happy, healed and in heaven with you, Jesus and your dear Mother, Mary. My mom sends you her devotion and asks that you hold me to yourself.
Thank you dear Joseph, dear son. I know that you have found peace for yourself and I imagine the long, interesting conversations you have with Jesus in paradise.
Blessed Christmas in heaven my angel....Linnie and I love you and will always love you...yesterday, today and certainly tomorrow... Hugs, and many kisses mom Close
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