 His legacy |
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A part of Joseph's legacy
Two broken hearted people....his mom and his sister.
Not a day has gone by since Joesph's death that we do not greive for him. I can recall every moment of that day May 9, 2005. I can see how bright the sun was, I remember how the air felt I remember how with the promise of summer in the air my son died. I remember every word of that phone call. I can still hear the voice on the other end informing me that my son was dead. I can still feel the horror and disbelief. On May 9, 2005 I left my house to go to work, I was the mother of two, when I returned one of my preicous children was gone and I was left to comfort the other. Linda Kristen whom Joseph nick named Linnie had such a special bond with her brother. She had a very deep understanding of him and love for him. Joseph was just 3 years old when Linnie was born and he welcomed her from the start. They were buddies, playmates, pals. Yes they had their brother sister aruguments growing up but they shared a bond.
Joseph is deeply loved for who he was. He was a beautiful boy with a wonderful heart who developed an illness that he himself tried to understand and fight. He did not like who be was at times and through no fault of his own suffered, greatly. And still he tried to overcome it all. He might not have believed in conventional methods but still what ever he did was because he truly believed it would "help" him to recover.
He is so very missed.....he is so very loved.....
Two broken hearted people are left behind...
He will never see his beautiful sister graduate college, get a job, her own place, marry, have children....She will have to show her children pictures of their "Uncle Joe" and I will tell them all about Joseph....His heart, his goodness, his courage, and yes even his temper. He was a good person and he did not deserve the cards life dealt.
I know he is with us, always...looking out for his younger sister and his mom and I know he is waiting for me to join him, one day. I imagine him with his beautiful smile the one that reaches his eyes, and his arms out streched ready to hold me and hug me and welcome me home.....
Until that day,
There are two broken hearted people missing Joseph and always loving him, no matter what, I hope he knows that.
mom
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To my Joseph
PRECIOUS CHILD
Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
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Children are not your own by Gibran from the Prophet
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
and he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of LIfe's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I love you Joseph and always will.....mom xxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooo
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TRAIL LEFT BEHIND
Dear son,
What remains is my heart that is broken in half forever longing to see you again to hug you and to hear your wonderful laugh.
It is now one year since you have left us. Lynnie misses you so much. I see you in everything that is beautiful around me. That is a part of your precious legacy. I see you when the sun shines down upon me and warms my skin. I see you when a delicate butterflye flutters by. I see your face in the biggest white puffy clouds. Your legacy is one of love, and laughter, pain and bravery.
You did not walk an easy road, and the path was never clear to you, yet you walked on day into night, night into day and it was not easy for you. You were very brave my son. You faced your demons down every single day.
Your illness often made you feel lonely and seperated from others yet you tried and tried to overcome it. You were always looking for answers, always searching for the why?
You were so very smart and intelligent. Everyone that ever met you and got to speak with you would remember that to me. You were a child/man an innocent. You never spoke unkindly about those who had true hearts and you only spoke badly about those who hurt you. They hurt you out of their ignorance and they will one day pay for it because I believe the universe takes care of itself.
I admired you as you would go to a high school dance alone. What boy your age would do that. You were always brave and faced those who would try to hurt you with courage. I admired you and felt that you were a very determined and strong young man even though you could not see that and even though your illness would bring you to your knees. You were so very handsome with you beautiful smile and cleff chin, your eyes so soft and your laugh so hearty. The girls who left flowers for you behind our door saw the good looks, charm and true goodness that you possessed.
Your legacy is one of courage, and strength. Even though every day you woke up with depression you made it out of bed and did what you had to do ...alone... and I know how much strength that took, how much determination. There are so many people that can't do that, that live a lie, can never be alone because they must run from themselves, their pain. But you faced all of your sorrows head on. I truly admired you.
Your illness destroyed you but you fought a valient battle like a soldier on the field of certain destruction you faced your demons every day.
Until..............you could not any longer. I know, I understand..
Baby, I pray and hope that you have found the peace and happiness you DESERVE. You were truly a beautiful, warm, kind, deep, extremely smart, brave, loving person who had an illness that could not be defeated, as hard as you tried. Lynnie and I love you always and forever. I see you in my dreams my sweet son, I hold you there and hug you and kiss away any tears that may remain.
Your legacy is that you left us, Lynnie and I with the gift of having you in our lives, having your true love for us, and you have shaped me into who I am as a mother and person today.
I will always love you, Lynnie will always love you..............................eternity..my sweet, innocent boy.
I hold you in my heart and soul my precious child, forever my baby, my son and I look forward to the day when you welcome me, hug me and tell me everything will be alright.......we will one day be together once again.
Missing you.............mom
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The Winter Coat: for Joseph John
It all started today when I went into the closet, and there on a hanger is my son's blue coat. I bought Joseph that coat last Christmas. We went shopping together for his gifts. Among other things the heavy blue coat with the hood stands out.
Joseph needed that coat because of all of the walks he was taking in
the cold winter. He would come home from his program and walk for blocks and blocks to the library. Joe did this every day. I wanted him
to have something very warm so I bought him that blue coat. I also bought him a black jacket which wasn't as warm, and which is missing. But there is that lonely coat with no one to wear it in my closet. It was like a punch in the stomach. I took it off the hanger and felt in the pockets, something I had failed to do before. And there in one of the pockets are his gloves. His sad, lonely gloves. How can a pair of gloves and a blue coat reduce me to tears and
pain. A coat without an owner and a pair of gloves without hands. It's a cold winter night in New York, there is the first snow on the ground and if he were here he would need to wear this coat. The coat speaks volumes to me hanging there on that hanger in that dark closet, just like my heart feels in my chest. I miss him in the pit of my stomach tonight, and I really want to hug him, instead I hug and hold this big, blue warm coat, I smell the hood to try to capture the scent of my son's hair. I put my hand in the gloves, and into the pockets to feel what he felt. This lonely coat without an owner, this lonely mom without her son. I guess I could give the coat to a person without a
coat, my son would do that and he would, I suppose like me to do that, but somehow I can't.
I want to be able to open the closet and see it hanging
there...just a coat waiting for its owner.
This coat makes me remember Christmas of last and how warm he was wearing this coat and how good it made me feel to protect him even this little bit.
A simple winter coat and yet so much attached to it...If he only knew.
Linda mom of Joseph John Dionisio Jr.
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Joe's Poems
Joe always enjoyed reading, and wrote some beautiful poems which we're thankful we were able to retrieve from poetry.com.
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In honor of my son Joseph John Dionisio Jr. written by his mother Linda Ann Dionisio
This was read by my friend Dorothy Ferrara at the funeral mass for Joseph. It was my eulogy that I wrote for him:
For our son, brother, nephew, cousin and friend Joseph,
A mother held her new born son and rocked him back and forth
back and forth and while she held him she sang,
I'll love you forever
I'll like you always
as long as I'm living my baby you'll be
The baby grew and grew and soon was two. He ran through the house and pulled food out of the refrigerator, and learned that books make great ladders, and that pots and pans can be used as drums. He learned that when you mix water with dirt you get mud! mud to roll in, mud to throw
His mother said "this kid is driving me crazy" but, every night she would tuck him in, hug and kiss him. She would look down on him all safe in his crib and say
I'll love you forever
I'll like you always
as long as I'm living my baby you'll be
Soon the little boy grew to be three and there arrived a little sister. He shouted with joy the first time he saw her and wanted to hold her and carry her around the house. He watched her as she slept and some nights would creep into her crib to sleep with her. He eventually learned that she was there to stay. He would have to share his prized possessions; he learned that when you build towers with blocks and highways with books your little sister delights in knocking them over and you just have to start all over again! He learned that dolls make great soldiers and that toy kitchens are made for experimenting mixing colors of paints for finger-painting, especially on your little sister. He learned to play hide and seek with her toys and he discovered that the bath makes a great ocean when you rock back forth and that he could cause a river of water to crash to the floor. He learned that bubbles make great volcanoes to overflow and mix along with river on the bathroom floor.
His mother said "this kid is driving me crazy"
But every night she would tuck him in and kiss his little cheek. She would look down on him in his safe little bed and she would say
I'll love you forever
I'll like you always
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be
The boy grew to be eight years old and learned that a little sister could be fun to tease, and make faces at. He discovered that the best fun on a hot summer day is a hose to spray and that it's even more fun when you spray your sister and grandfather. He learned that you can make rivers on sidewalks and waterfalls downs steps; his mother said "this kid is driving me crazy"
But every night she would listen to his prayers and kiss his bruises and tuck him in, she would kiss his little boy cheek and look down on him in his safe, warm bed and she would say
I will love you forever
I will like you always
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be
The boy grew and learned that you can ride a bicycle until the wind whips across your cheeks, and the faster you go the freer you feel - he learned that it's fun to climb fences, and run wild through the long summer days. He soon discovered that bees sting, and bugs can light up the dark night sky and that sand is for burying your little sister in.
His mother would say "this kid is driving me crazy" but every night she would tuck him in and kiss his bumps and she would look down at him in his safe, warm bed and say
I will love you forever
I will like you always
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be
The boy grew and learned hat he could share with his sister. He would get out his lego blocks and they would sit together on the floor dividing up the many shapes and sizes, each building towers into the sky, and he learned that a sister can be a playmate and that she could play video games or create different colors mixing paint. He discovered that you can play cowboy and indians and a sister is the perfect prisoner to tie to the table leg and he learned that backyards were made for forts and that swing sets were made to climb and that sisters make wonderful buddies.
It seems that one day the mother turned and the teenager was now a young man. A young man who still maintained his childhood innocence despite the worlds temptations.
Joseph did not walk an easy path. He suffered difficulties in his everyday life and at times despite this he valiantly tried for many years to overcome these obstacles. Joseph was an innocent in a sometimes cruel world. He never judged people and literally gave the jacket off his back to a very needy man. He gave money to people when he didn't have enough for himself, he cared for and loved the stray cats that came into his life. He would walk in the cold winter to feed the birds and ducks bread even if he didn't have bread for himself.
Joseph was a very complicated person. He touched people in a special way because he was genuine, he was real, he never pretended he never could.
and although still at times his mother would think "this kid is driving me crazy"
He was her heart
Joseph:
I will love you forever
I'll like you always
as long as I'm living my baby you'll be
and until the day we are together again, please let's meet in our dreams.
Joseph rest in God's arms, sleep in peace...I love you baby.
Mommy (Linda Ann Dionisio)
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For My Brother Joseph
This is a eulogy that Joseph's sister Linda Kristen wrote. It was read by Dorothy Ferrara at his funeral.
Joe I love you so much and always will. You are not only my brother but my best friend from when we were both babies.
I know I may not have expressed my love and admiration for you as much as I should have but you always remain present in my life everyday.
I always think of you and all of our beautiful times together. You are the best brother and friend anyone could have. I love you so much with all my heart and although I miss you deeply I
know that you are at peace.
Words cannot express my love for you, my beautiful brother. All of our wonderful experiences, from playing with blocks, building forts, playing video games, riding bikes to driving around and even sharing a smoke ;)
All of these times, these beautiful moments, will give me the life I need until we are together again. You are so precious to me, I love you infinity .... Love Linney.
written by Linda Kristen Dionisio for Joseph her brother, read on May 13, 2005 at funeral mass.
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